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entry #02, Something With Masa, or, How Planet Masa was Lost from the Gackt System. by Isadora Duncan
synopsis: A sordid little tale of lust amongst guitarists. ...if you're willing to consider Gackt a guitarist.
ratings/warnings: R, language and not terribly explicit sex
entered in: category 1 (open)
dartboard: yes
concrit: 3 (the highest level)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It was a day like any other of this particular winter. Gackt and his minions had been holed up in the studio all day, getting little done in the way of recording but plenty in the way of a moody Gackt creating general gloom and misery.
Masa took it into his head that the best way to remedy this would be to give Gackt a backrub. Whilst whispering sweet nothings aka dirty talk in his ear.
Masa had never been known for his timing.
"Leave me alone, Masa," Gackt snapped. "I'm not in the mood for your jokes."
"Who said it's a joke, Gackt?" Masa glared at him from across the table, where he'd retreated after his hands got slapped. It'd stung. "I've been hitting on you since we met! You keep brushing it off like it's a game! Are you that oblivious, or that much in denial?"
Gackt's face was blank. Masa groaned and dropped his head into his hands. "I'm, like, never going to get in your pants, am I?"
"No!" The shock melted into anger. "I can't believe... how could you be so unprofessional? Masa..." With a dark frown, Gackt gathered the papers from between them on the table and began stuffing them in his bag. "I can't work with you if I know that you... I mean, with the fanservice and all, it... ugh!"
Masa blinked. "Ga-chan, you're telling me - "
"Don't call me that."
" - that it was fine to play with me when you thought I didn't actually want you - even though I know you're turned on by it as much as I am - "
"No, I am not!"
"It's not like you can hide that thing!" Masa gritted his teeth, shoving the wheeled chair back to spin in a circle. He pinned Gackt with a glare.
Gackt glared back. "It's from being on stage! The excitement, the attention, all those women wanting me! It is absolutely not from wanting you!"
Masa's eyes stung, and he had no idea if the tears were coming from anger or hurt, but he did know they couldn't be allowed to fall in front of Gackt. Not now. "Well, if you put it that way, Ga-ch-- Gackt... I must be so disgusting to you that my presence is an awful discomfort. Let me make you more comfortable." He lifted his head high and walked with quick long strides for the door.
"Masa," Gackt burst out. Masa turned back, raising a brow. "I didn't mean it so badly. I enjoy your company, of course. Only, not like that." He paused, chewing his lip. "I don't know what the hell your problem is."
"What's my problem? My problem is that you would enjoy my company, and like that, if you'd just quit lying to yourself over it all." Masa pressed his back flat to the door, sliding down a little. "Pretend all you want, Gackt, but it sounds like I know you better than you know yourself. You want men as much as you do women. You don't care what it is, from what I've seen, you want pretty. It's only that you have this brainwashing where you can't admit it or... you won't be a man, is that it? But look, I'm a man, aren't I?"
Gackt snorted at that.
"Oh, so I'm not?"
"Well. Hm..."
"If I'm not a man, then isn't it fine to want me?"
"But you are. You aren't an awfully manly man, is what..."
"You aren't an awfully manly man either, so?" Masa walked forward and knocked on his head, getting a glare. "What's wrong with it? Come on, think instead of giving me your rote answers!" He stuck out his tongue. "I dare you. Better?"
Gackt rolled his eyes, tipping back in the chair. "Masa, I meant it when I said I'm not in the mood - jokes or not - I'm not in the mood for you."
"And he blatantly avoids the subject."
"I don't feel like dealing with you right now! I have an album due in three months and three songs are finished! I need to be focusing on that, not sitting here debating my sexual orientation with you!"
"I've figured out what you want. You want to be a terribly manly man, is what. It kills you that you're not."
"Masa. Go. Away."
Masa pouted. Gackt glared. Masa pouted more.
"How do you do this to me?!" Gackt hissed. "Yes! Sometimes I react to what you do to me! I can't help it! But it's not because it's you, it's because my body is a WHORE and I hate that!"
"Your body... is a whore?" Masa opened his eyes wide and giggled. "That's so beautiful, honey."
"Shut up."
"You have such love for yourself, it's an inspiration to us all..."
"Shut up. I do."
"Oh, sure you do, because you're trying to force it to quit doing anything you don't like! Like wanting me!"
A minute passed.
"Gackt?"
"Shut up."
"What happened, the night before we left for Los Angeles? You've been weird ever since. I mean, before, you'd at least play a little. But since then, you haven't wanted anyone within a mile of you..."
"Nothing happened."
"Bullshit. I wanna know!"
"You don't have the right to know, Masa." Gackt left that to slice its way through his heart for a moment, then added, "And nothing happened."
"You're really out to destroy me today, aren't you." He slumped into the chair across from Gackt, staring at his hands with a sad frown. "It's okay, you know? I don't mind when you're nasty to me, because I know you really do care underneath. But I wish you wouldn't take it out on me when you're pissed at yourself. You're just crazy sometimes. I don't know what else to call it. Crazy."
"Do you value your job, Masa?"
He looked up, inhaling in shock. "Ga-chan?"
"Shut up." Gackt picked up his bag and left.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"I don't know, Cha-kun. He wouldn't tell me! And he threatened me!" The pout was visible in the voice even over the phone.
Chachamaru sighed and stopped walking, looking for a tree to lean on. He was still on his way home from the studio, and had been enjoying a meandering walk through the park after his train stop until the phone so rudely rang. "How many times have I told you... don't push him when he gets like that."
"I couldn't help it. I love him, and he always pushes me away! At least he used to let me hug him and - and cuddle!"
Chacha closed his eyes wearily, wanting nothing more than to smack reality into the heads of the young. "We've talked about that, Masa, much as I wish we hadn't had to."
"I know, I know." Masa sounded cross. "Try to get over it because he isn't going to be interested for a long time if ever..."
"I think my words were more like, 'For as long as he's in the public eye and has a career of any sort, he'll never be with you, nor like to acknowledge the slightest chance.' It's not happening. I feel for you, but you're only going to keep breaking your heart this way." The wind picked up and he shivered, pulling his jacket closer, and wished he'd brought gloves.
"What, he's not breaking my heart?"
"He has nothing to do with it." Cha gave up and groped through his pockets for his cigarettes. The boy was determined to give him a headache. "It could be anyone and you'd be having the same problems. Not anyone, okay," he said at the outbreak of sputtering, "but anyone who doesn't want you. It's not his fault you feel this way, and it's not his problem if you're hurt by him not feeling the same. Gackt didn't wake up one day and start broadcasting this into your mind, Masa, it's something that comes from you by yourself. Trying harder won't do anything but annoy him. You can't make anyone love you." He took a drag, and added, "It wouldn't be love if you did."
There was silence on the line.
"Oh hell. Go talk to You, he'll be your sympathetic ear." He's got enough practice, Cha thought. "Your warm fuzzy. He won't tell you what you don't want to hear." But he won't lie, either, so prepare to do the most talking... well, that's how you like it anyway, isn't it? He waited, brow quirked, tapping his cigarette on a low-hanging branch.
"Okay. Uh, thanks, Chachacha."
"I told you don't call me --" Click. He stared at the phone, gnawing the cigarette in frustration. "Fine. Little punk. Don't come crying to me when You's humped and dumped you on the rebound."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
At the tenth knock, You finally stumbled out of his kotatsu and staggered his way to the door. He flung it open and stood, weaving and blinking, as Masa threw himself into his slack arms and began babbling into his shoulder things about Gackt and love and his job and how nobody seemed to like his nicknames anymore and -
"You've never given me one," You yawned, feeling like his head was filled with air and about to float away. Maybe a good thing about the small guitarist crying in his shoulder.
Or maybe not.
"Masa?"
"Yeah?" A sniffle, and red-rimmed dark eyes peered up at him, pretty lips quirking in a lame attempt at a smile.
"Kotatsu."
"Okay." They shuffled away from the door together. You swung it shut with a kick. Masa wasn't giving up his grip even to walk straight, but that was okay, since You couldn't walk straight regardless.
"Vodka? Warm now... sorry..." He attempted a loose shrug, smiling with half-numb lips at cute little Masa. Cute little Masa who looked like a heartbroken teenage girl, and then the next second picked up the bottle and chugged at least two inches straight from it. Well damn.
"Thanks," Masa sighed with a tiny burp, sniffling again.
"Uh." He spent a moment gathering his thoughts, and nodded. "Tell me about it?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
He tried, despite the vodka and the lethal cuteness that was Masa, to keep a sense of decency and friendship and how one ought to act in these situations.
He tried. He really did.
"Masa. Masa, stop. Aah- ahhhh... er, come on, stop it, you'll just hate... yourself, and uh, more to the point me and... ah--"
Masa, it had become clear, was determined to forget about Gackt's rejection in the fastest, most direct way possible. Kind of sucked about his choice of Gackt's best friend for that, or at least in You's opinion... but, then again, he was forced to realize - as he found himself moaning uncontrollably, hands fisting in Masa's smooth dark hair - there was no denying that it did come with its side benefits, being the first fallback for those rejected by someone both as gorgeous and as rejection-happy as Gackt. Oh yes. Yes it certainly did...
You, unlike Gackt, wasn't picky about his pretty. And if the pretty wanted to suck his cock, well, wasn't that just a fine bonus.
Later, as he listened to Masa's gasping breaths in response to his every thrust, slender legs hitched up over his elbows, he began wondering...
What if he does... this on purpose?
Does he know I'm... just as lost over him as... all these poor fools have... ever been, and keeps... pitilessly throwing them... away with this sort... of timing because he... knows I end up... fucking at least the... half of 'em senseless?
It was just the sort of gesture of unspoken love which he thought his best friend might make.
Gackt, you fucking bitch.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Well - really, Masa, it's okay. You don't have to - no, I - " You scratched his head, pulling his palm down over his eyes and then mouth in bleary discomfort, watching Masa prop his bedroom door open and disappear again to pull in... Fuck me. A fucking breakfast tray. Where the hell he got that, You had not a bit of a clue - but he did know this was a Very Bad Sign and needed to be nipped in the bud or he'd be Very Fucking Sorry in a little while.
"Masa. Um, I think you... may have..." He watched Masa bop around arranging food on a plate, humming a little tune, helpless to break his illusion at least until he'd gotten to eat. "Yeah."
Masa stopped, and pinned him with an unexpected serious look. "You-kun, I know. Don't worry. Let me pretend for a little while? Just as you did last night? Then I'll go."
You blinked. Was it possible? Masa had actually learned some sense?
"After all, Ga-chan is probably wanting to apologize for being so nasty yesterday, and I don't want to keep him waiting!"
You stuttered out a nervous laugh, and accepted the bite held forth to him by Masa's chopsticks.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
No. Masa didn't really think that.
But hey, no matter how stupid he may look, at least it'd gotten him a sympathy fuck from You, right? As it happened, he'd had a stealthy crush on You all along, right beside the blaze that was his feelings for Gackt. It had actually made him feel guilty, because what if he did somehow end up getting anywhere with Gackt? You was always right there, and there'd always be this... thing...
No worries there anymore.
"Ga-chan, I'll leave the band. Thank you for everything."
"What??!"
Masa blinked. Here he'd thought he was only anticipating Gackt's next move and keeping his pride.
"You can't leave! We have an album to finish and a tour and - you can't. Leave. No." Gackt was tearing his hair out.
"Well... okay then?" Masa sunk back in a daze, and Chachamaru gave him a look, laying a finger over his lips. Gackt kept scribbling as he'd been before Masa came in and fidgeted his way into Gackt's attention.
After that, things went on pretty much as normal again. With a few... small... adjustments.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
As normal again, yes. Until three-fourths of the way through the Requiem et Reminiscence tour, when Gackt found yet another of Masa's love letters. Which would have been unremarkable, and even fine... if it weren't to...
You.
"I'm tired of playing lackey to you anyway," Masa said as he yanked his bags over his shoulder and picked up his guitar case. "I can hold an audience on my own."
Gackt slid his sunglasses up on his nose and gained an air of boredom in an instant. You gave a messy little half-wave and a mangled smile, mouthing over Gackt's shoulder, "Keep in touch."
When he'd left, Gackt turned to You and said, "So, you're that good, are you?"
"What?" You looked up from the fascinating scuffs on the backstage linoleum.
"Never mind." Gackt shook his head abruptly, resetting his mind to its normal patterns. You = friend. Gackt = not jealous of anyone or anything in regard to You. It was only logical. "Let's get out of here."
"Okay. Hey, Gackt..."
"Hm?"
"Next time you want to kick someone to the curb? Could you... maybe not pick a night when I'm trashed out of my gourd and... well. Yeah?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"...didn't think so. Oh look, a black dove!"
While Gackt was distracted trying to find yet another creature that didn't exist, You ducked down to snag the paper that Masa had dropped into Gackt's bag, sitting at his feet.
No point in breaking anyone's illusions, right?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
entry #02, Something With Masa, or, How Planet Masa was Lost from the Gackt System. by Isadora Duncan
synopsis: A sordid little tale of lust amongst guitarists. ...if you're willing to consider Gackt a guitarist.
ratings/warnings: R, language and not terribly explicit sex
entered in: category 1 (open)
dartboard: yes
concrit: 3 (the highest level)
It was a day like any other of this particular winter. Gackt and his minions had been holed up in the studio all day, getting little done in the way of recording but plenty in the way of a moody Gackt creating general gloom and misery.
Masa took it into his head that the best way to remedy this would be to give Gackt a backrub. Whilst whispering sweet nothings aka dirty talk in his ear.
Masa had never been known for his timing.
"Leave me alone, Masa," Gackt snapped. "I'm not in the mood for your jokes."
"Who said it's a joke, Gackt?" Masa glared at him from across the table, where he'd retreated after his hands got slapped. It'd stung. "I've been hitting on you since we met! You keep brushing it off like it's a game! Are you that oblivious, or that much in denial?"
Gackt's face was blank. Masa groaned and dropped his head into his hands. "I'm, like, never going to get in your pants, am I?"
"No!" The shock melted into anger. "I can't believe... how could you be so unprofessional? Masa..." With a dark frown, Gackt gathered the papers from between them on the table and began stuffing them in his bag. "I can't work with you if I know that you... I mean, with the fanservice and all, it... ugh!"
Masa blinked. "Ga-chan, you're telling me - "
"Don't call me that."
" - that it was fine to play with me when you thought I didn't actually want you - even though I know you're turned on by it as much as I am - "
"No, I am not!"
"It's not like you can hide that thing!" Masa gritted his teeth, shoving the wheeled chair back to spin in a circle. He pinned Gackt with a glare.
Gackt glared back. "It's from being on stage! The excitement, the attention, all those women wanting me! It is absolutely not from wanting you!"
Masa's eyes stung, and he had no idea if the tears were coming from anger or hurt, but he did know they couldn't be allowed to fall in front of Gackt. Not now. "Well, if you put it that way, Ga-ch-- Gackt... I must be so disgusting to you that my presence is an awful discomfort. Let me make you more comfortable." He lifted his head high and walked with quick long strides for the door.
"Masa," Gackt burst out. Masa turned back, raising a brow. "I didn't mean it so badly. I enjoy your company, of course. Only, not like that." He paused, chewing his lip. "I don't know what the hell your problem is."
"What's my problem? My problem is that you would enjoy my company, and like that, if you'd just quit lying to yourself over it all." Masa pressed his back flat to the door, sliding down a little. "Pretend all you want, Gackt, but it sounds like I know you better than you know yourself. You want men as much as you do women. You don't care what it is, from what I've seen, you want pretty. It's only that you have this brainwashing where you can't admit it or... you won't be a man, is that it? But look, I'm a man, aren't I?"
Gackt snorted at that.
"Oh, so I'm not?"
"Well. Hm..."
"If I'm not a man, then isn't it fine to want me?"
"But you are. You aren't an awfully manly man, is what..."
"You aren't an awfully manly man either, so?" Masa walked forward and knocked on his head, getting a glare. "What's wrong with it? Come on, think instead of giving me your rote answers!" He stuck out his tongue. "I dare you. Better?"
Gackt rolled his eyes, tipping back in the chair. "Masa, I meant it when I said I'm not in the mood - jokes or not - I'm not in the mood for you."
"And he blatantly avoids the subject."
"I don't feel like dealing with you right now! I have an album due in three months and three songs are finished! I need to be focusing on that, not sitting here debating my sexual orientation with you!"
"I've figured out what you want. You want to be a terribly manly man, is what. It kills you that you're not."
"Masa. Go. Away."
Masa pouted. Gackt glared. Masa pouted more.
"How do you do this to me?!" Gackt hissed. "Yes! Sometimes I react to what you do to me! I can't help it! But it's not because it's you, it's because my body is a WHORE and I hate that!"
"Your body... is a whore?" Masa opened his eyes wide and giggled. "That's so beautiful, honey."
"Shut up."
"You have such love for yourself, it's an inspiration to us all..."
"Shut up. I do."
"Oh, sure you do, because you're trying to force it to quit doing anything you don't like! Like wanting me!"
A minute passed.
"Gackt?"
"Shut up."
"What happened, the night before we left for Los Angeles? You've been weird ever since. I mean, before, you'd at least play a little. But since then, you haven't wanted anyone within a mile of you..."
"Nothing happened."
"Bullshit. I wanna know!"
"You don't have the right to know, Masa." Gackt left that to slice its way through his heart for a moment, then added, "And nothing happened."
"You're really out to destroy me today, aren't you." He slumped into the chair across from Gackt, staring at his hands with a sad frown. "It's okay, you know? I don't mind when you're nasty to me, because I know you really do care underneath. But I wish you wouldn't take it out on me when you're pissed at yourself. You're just crazy sometimes. I don't know what else to call it. Crazy."
"Do you value your job, Masa?"
He looked up, inhaling in shock. "Ga-chan?"
"Shut up." Gackt picked up his bag and left.
"I don't know, Cha-kun. He wouldn't tell me! And he threatened me!" The pout was visible in the voice even over the phone.
Chachamaru sighed and stopped walking, looking for a tree to lean on. He was still on his way home from the studio, and had been enjoying a meandering walk through the park after his train stop until the phone so rudely rang. "How many times have I told you... don't push him when he gets like that."
"I couldn't help it. I love him, and he always pushes me away! At least he used to let me hug him and - and cuddle!"
Chacha closed his eyes wearily, wanting nothing more than to smack reality into the heads of the young. "We've talked about that, Masa, much as I wish we hadn't had to."
"I know, I know." Masa sounded cross. "Try to get over it because he isn't going to be interested for a long time if ever..."
"I think my words were more like, 'For as long as he's in the public eye and has a career of any sort, he'll never be with you, nor like to acknowledge the slightest chance.' It's not happening. I feel for you, but you're only going to keep breaking your heart this way." The wind picked up and he shivered, pulling his jacket closer, and wished he'd brought gloves.
"What, he's not breaking my heart?"
"He has nothing to do with it." Cha gave up and groped through his pockets for his cigarettes. The boy was determined to give him a headache. "It could be anyone and you'd be having the same problems. Not anyone, okay," he said at the outbreak of sputtering, "but anyone who doesn't want you. It's not his fault you feel this way, and it's not his problem if you're hurt by him not feeling the same. Gackt didn't wake up one day and start broadcasting this into your mind, Masa, it's something that comes from you by yourself. Trying harder won't do anything but annoy him. You can't make anyone love you." He took a drag, and added, "It wouldn't be love if you did."
There was silence on the line.
"Oh hell. Go talk to You, he'll be your sympathetic ear." He's got enough practice, Cha thought. "Your warm fuzzy. He won't tell you what you don't want to hear." But he won't lie, either, so prepare to do the most talking... well, that's how you like it anyway, isn't it? He waited, brow quirked, tapping his cigarette on a low-hanging branch.
"Okay. Uh, thanks, Chachacha."
"I told you don't call me --" Click. He stared at the phone, gnawing the cigarette in frustration. "Fine. Little punk. Don't come crying to me when You's humped and dumped you on the rebound."
At the tenth knock, You finally stumbled out of his kotatsu and staggered his way to the door. He flung it open and stood, weaving and blinking, as Masa threw himself into his slack arms and began babbling into his shoulder things about Gackt and love and his job and how nobody seemed to like his nicknames anymore and -
"You've never given me one," You yawned, feeling like his head was filled with air and about to float away. Maybe a good thing about the small guitarist crying in his shoulder.
Or maybe not.
"Masa?"
"Yeah?" A sniffle, and red-rimmed dark eyes peered up at him, pretty lips quirking in a lame attempt at a smile.
"Kotatsu."
"Okay." They shuffled away from the door together. You swung it shut with a kick. Masa wasn't giving up his grip even to walk straight, but that was okay, since You couldn't walk straight regardless.
"Vodka? Warm now... sorry..." He attempted a loose shrug, smiling with half-numb lips at cute little Masa. Cute little Masa who looked like a heartbroken teenage girl, and then the next second picked up the bottle and chugged at least two inches straight from it. Well damn.
"Thanks," Masa sighed with a tiny burp, sniffling again.
"Uh." He spent a moment gathering his thoughts, and nodded. "Tell me about it?"
He tried, despite the vodka and the lethal cuteness that was Masa, to keep a sense of decency and friendship and how one ought to act in these situations.
He tried. He really did.
"Masa. Masa, stop. Aah- ahhhh... er, come on, stop it, you'll just hate... yourself, and uh, more to the point me and... ah--"
Masa, it had become clear, was determined to forget about Gackt's rejection in the fastest, most direct way possible. Kind of sucked about his choice of Gackt's best friend for that, or at least in You's opinion... but, then again, he was forced to realize - as he found himself moaning uncontrollably, hands fisting in Masa's smooth dark hair - there was no denying that it did come with its side benefits, being the first fallback for those rejected by someone both as gorgeous and as rejection-happy as Gackt. Oh yes. Yes it certainly did...
You, unlike Gackt, wasn't picky about his pretty. And if the pretty wanted to suck his cock, well, wasn't that just a fine bonus.
Later, as he listened to Masa's gasping breaths in response to his every thrust, slender legs hitched up over his elbows, he began wondering...
What if he does... this on purpose?
Does he know I'm... just as lost over him as... all these poor fools have... ever been, and keeps... pitilessly throwing them... away with this sort... of timing because he... knows I end up... fucking at least the... half of 'em senseless?
It was just the sort of gesture of unspoken love which he thought his best friend might make.
Gackt, you fucking bitch.
"Well - really, Masa, it's okay. You don't have to - no, I - " You scratched his head, pulling his palm down over his eyes and then mouth in bleary discomfort, watching Masa prop his bedroom door open and disappear again to pull in... Fuck me. A fucking breakfast tray. Where the hell he got that, You had not a bit of a clue - but he did know this was a Very Bad Sign and needed to be nipped in the bud or he'd be Very Fucking Sorry in a little while.
"Masa. Um, I think you... may have..." He watched Masa bop around arranging food on a plate, humming a little tune, helpless to break his illusion at least until he'd gotten to eat. "Yeah."
Masa stopped, and pinned him with an unexpected serious look. "You-kun, I know. Don't worry. Let me pretend for a little while? Just as you did last night? Then I'll go."
You blinked. Was it possible? Masa had actually learned some sense?
"After all, Ga-chan is probably wanting to apologize for being so nasty yesterday, and I don't want to keep him waiting!"
You stuttered out a nervous laugh, and accepted the bite held forth to him by Masa's chopsticks.
No. Masa didn't really think that.
But hey, no matter how stupid he may look, at least it'd gotten him a sympathy fuck from You, right? As it happened, he'd had a stealthy crush on You all along, right beside the blaze that was his feelings for Gackt. It had actually made him feel guilty, because what if he did somehow end up getting anywhere with Gackt? You was always right there, and there'd always be this... thing...
No worries there anymore.
"Ga-chan, I'll leave the band. Thank you for everything."
"What??!"
Masa blinked. Here he'd thought he was only anticipating Gackt's next move and keeping his pride.
"You can't leave! We have an album to finish and a tour and - you can't. Leave. No." Gackt was tearing his hair out.
"Well... okay then?" Masa sunk back in a daze, and Chachamaru gave him a look, laying a finger over his lips. Gackt kept scribbling as he'd been before Masa came in and fidgeted his way into Gackt's attention.
After that, things went on pretty much as normal again. With a few... small... adjustments.
As normal again, yes. Until three-fourths of the way through the Requiem et Reminiscence tour, when Gackt found yet another of Masa's love letters. Which would have been unremarkable, and even fine... if it weren't to...
You.
"I'm tired of playing lackey to you anyway," Masa said as he yanked his bags over his shoulder and picked up his guitar case. "I can hold an audience on my own."
Gackt slid his sunglasses up on his nose and gained an air of boredom in an instant. You gave a messy little half-wave and a mangled smile, mouthing over Gackt's shoulder, "Keep in touch."
When he'd left, Gackt turned to You and said, "So, you're that good, are you?"
"What?" You looked up from the fascinating scuffs on the backstage linoleum.
"Never mind." Gackt shook his head abruptly, resetting his mind to its normal patterns. You = friend. Gackt = not jealous of anyone or anything in regard to You. It was only logical. "Let's get out of here."
"Okay. Hey, Gackt..."
"Hm?"
"Next time you want to kick someone to the curb? Could you... maybe not pick a night when I'm trashed out of my gourd and... well. Yeah?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"...didn't think so. Oh look, a black dove!"
While Gackt was distracted trying to find yet another creature that didn't exist, You ducked down to snag the paper that Masa had dropped into Gackt's bag, sitting at his feet.
No point in breaking anyone's illusions, right?
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Date: 2007-01-07 01:10 pm (UTC)Mechanics and style.
Dart 2 (Red) ~~ worth up to 35 points 29
Storytelling and effectiveness.
Dart 3 (Yellow) ~~ worth up to 30 points 25
Characterization, and dialogue if applicable.
Personal Board: +9
Others:
Great title! Got to love it.
It's a very interesting fic. It starts out like a parody of one of those fics where the two bandmembers discover their crazy mad love for each other after they fanservice each other on stage, ahem, but after that it becomes quite a different thing. It isn't laugh-out-loud hillarious, but it has an understated, dry sort of humour to it.
Masa at the beginning of the fic appears quite air-headed and not really keeping with reality, and I can understand why Gackt is irritable with his behaviour.
"You don't have the right to know, Masa." Gackt left that to slice its way through his heart for a moment, then added, "And nothing happened."
"You're really out to destroy me today, aren't you." He slumped into the chair across from Gackt, staring at his hands with a sad frown. "It's okay, you know? I don't mind when you're nasty to me, because I know you really do care underneath. But I wish you wouldn't take it out on me when you're pissed at yourself. You're just crazy sometimes. I don't know what else to call it. Crazy."
"Do you value your job, Masa?"
He looked up, inhaling in shock. "Ga-chan?"
"Shut up." Gackt picked up his bag and left.
But then the conversation winds down to something like this, and it was like a cut to the heart, which surprised me, because I thought I couldn't really care for this Masa, when I first begun to read.
Masa in this fic is interesting and slightly unpredictable. And the relationships between the characters in this fic are more complex/complicated than the actual characters themselves. I find myself trying to deduce the characters from the things they do, and then I'll think, 'ah, so the author means that he is like this.' I think it's because the emotions in this fic are dealt with rather flippantly, or sarcastically in a way, or so I get the impression of. Which is also interesting in a way, because after all, love and wangst aren't the be-all end-all of life. There'll still be more fish in the sea after this is over. But that also seems to lessen the impact which Masa's (never to be received) letter to Gackt has.
The fascinating bit about this fic is of course the twist with Gackt and You. In fact, Masa seems more important as the part of the plot that gets us to that, than anything else. The characters in this are all slightly awkward, all very human. I guess, as they say, real life is stranger than fiction.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-08 01:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-08 11:04 am (UTC)Mechanics and style.
The style was almost flawless but loses points on mechanics (will be explained below).
Dart 2 (Red) ~~ 33/35
Storytelling and effectiveness.
Very smooth storytelling, took you on a ride. Caught you up so you didn't notice when the syntax was a bit off in parts. Very effective with a view to coming across as realistic. Story itself - nice and well put-together.
Dart 3 (Yellow) ~~ 29/30
Characterization, and dialogue if applicable.
The dialogue took a few false starts but was really quite marvellous overall/once it got going :P especially the banter. Shining example: it's because my body is a WHORE and I hate that!
Chacha and You were awesome supporting roles. You was the awesome of awesome, very much so. Loved the relationship dynamic between all of them.
You, unlike Gackt, wasn't picky about his pretty. And if the pretty wanted to suck his cock, well, wasn't that just a fine bonus. WIN-AR. :D
and "It's not like you can hide that thing!" XD
Personal Dartboard
+7
Masa's eyes stung, and he had no idea if the tears were coming from anger or hurt ♥ - very communicative and realistic.
Concrit
Seeing as concrit is 3 though, and I've already expressed my affection, I shall concrit:
Main area of crit would be technical, specifically syntax. The use of dialogue and general wit, stream-of-consciousness narrative tend to cover this, but accuracy isn't 100%. I mean, it lends to the style, and it flows, but sentences like: It was a day like any other of this particular winter. "like any other of this"? this is clumsy, especially the 'of'. Sometimes you have to sacrifice sentences that don't quite work out.
There seem to be more grammar issues at the beginning of the fic...
Masa took it into his head that the best way to remedy this would be to give Gackt a backrub. Whilst whispering sweet nothings aka dirty talk in his ear.
took it into his head? What is this 'it' and is it being taken into his head through his ears?
whilst It's okay, but the general word on 'whilst' is to use 'while instead. Or so my grammar book says.
While Gackt was distracted trying to find yet another creature that didn't exist, You ducked down to snag the paper that Masa had dropped into Gackt's bag, sitting at his feet.
The syntax is confusing. The commas here signal a parenthetic purpose but instead leaves the "sitting at his feet" hanging off the end, like an afterthought. Obviously Gackt's bag is 'sitting' at his feet, but this isn't clear because of the way it's hanging on. (If this doesn't make sense ask me to rephrase ^^;) In other words, the bag's position should be worked in earlier, not left hanging randomly.
Gackt kept scribbling as he'd been before Masa came in and fidgeted his way into Gackt's attention.
The problem here is the POV appears to slip from Gackt to Masa in the space of a few words. Blame rests with the personal pronouns problem - with slash they are a total pain in the ass. Probably the 'Gackt kept scribbling' needs to be moved to the end...then again, if Masa was actually in Gackt's attention, why is Gackt scribbling? Slightly confusing, perhaps attention wasn't the right word?
'snapped', 'glared', 'burst out', 'hissed', 'sigh with a...' usually 'said' packs a better punch. But you weave these in so well, and overall they are quite sparse.
That's all I got right now *very tired*. [uh, fixed the tags]
no subject
Date: 2007-01-12 05:05 am (UTC)Thank you for the wonderfully detailed comments!! ♥ Some of the things you pointed out are natural to me because they're colloquialisms, it didn't even occur to me that they might be considered awkward (or be treated literally - that interpretation of "took it into his head" had certainly never occured to me... xD;), so it's great to have the outside perspective to remind me, hey, not everyone will read that the same way that me or someone else from the same 'talking background' would.
You've given me lots of good things to think about and fix (my head is spinning!). Thank you!