***This started as a info response to the first commenter, and turned into my own comment on this fic, and I can't think of a good way to separate the two, so here we are.***
(Not the writer, but thought I'd mention:) Some of the random action is probably because the author was trying to use the entire prompt...
Weekend PV: hide trashes a room, smashes mirrors, stares at himself in the remaining shards, eventually collapses like a rag doll with his head all cocked over, so I dunno if he was supposed to have somehow snapped his neck, maybe with all the flailing? XD Taiji argues with his girlfriend and gets literally shot down by her (and flops around for a long time too). Yoshiki, the uberdramawhore, takes a letter opener that wouldn't even slice paper to his wrist (totally the wrong way to actually do anything, too), and eventually is staggering around holding it to his stomach with blood all down his front (and last, flops around in a small sea of red water, because, well, what's an X PV without a wet Yoshiki?). Pata spends the whole time drinking Jack Daniels, and falls out on the bar with his head on his arm; some guy comes by later and shakes him, nothing. So the only one who escapes an awful death is Toshi, who's the serious, dramatic 'narrator' standing in front of a wall that's getting splashed with red paint (even as he's standing in front of it, and it always makes me wish they'd done an outtake or something with him getting nailed with the stuff). Good times. XD Pretty awful now, pretty great in early 1990.
Miyavi, I'd guess is in there because in the PSC tour dvd, Yasuno was acting like a teenage girl with a terrible crush every time they were in the same room. There's no doubt that there should've been some sort of build-up to it in the fic, maybe the guys giving him shit about it while they were drinking, that would've been easy. I'm just mentioning it here as a "this is probably why it was there" not an "oh but this makes it work in the fic" because you're right, it is random as it's written.
I don't think that I should/could dartboard this one... The things that you talk about, I agree with, looking at each individually and trying to be objective. But when I'm actually reading it, I get so distracted by squeeing over the... well, squeeful awesomeness (to me, because I'm a crazy X and Kra fan) that is Kra doing the Weekend PV (only, you know, minus that whole dying thing...), that I don't even notice the weaknesses in it as a story.
Actually, I guess this now is my comment on the fic. XD; Yeah. Hmmmm, loved the use of the prompt. LOVED. I totally didn't expect to get any more than the hide and Yoshiki parts, so Mai taking off into the bar was like, "Huh? Okay, cool *goes back to Yasuno*" and then Yasuno gets... shot down *snicker* and, hey, random Miyavi! Well, he had to go somewhere, and I like that particular where, but it would have been an excellent idea to drop his name into things earlier and give us some basis for Yasuno going there besides if we happened to notice his behavior in PSC tour. XD It goes back to Mai and all of a sudden I catch on, and even though the poor boy's conking out on the damn bar and if I didn't know it was cause the Weekend PV's spirit came in and is possessing each one of them in sequence, it'd be a bit depressing (Maicho's a random alcoholic? He's upset over something but we dunno what it is, or he just likes to go into bars and drink til he passes out all the time?), it's so CUTE and makes me squee my fool head off, and well - ZOMG I want to be the bartender. O_O XDDD
When Keiyuu and Yuura, out of nowhere, started getting on each other, and then all of a sudden were making out, like, in broken glass, that was really random. I was thrown by that. (Especially since there was all this glass where they were sitting, and I'd think they'd get out of it before doing anything else, let alone making out and then stumbling off into the bedroom... still probably with quite a bit of glass in their clothes......) If they were together already, or at least had some kind of tension/flirting going on, then it'd work.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2007-01-14 09:25 pm (UTC)(Not the writer, but thought I'd mention:) Some of the random action is probably because the author was trying to use the entire prompt...
Weekend PV:
hide trashes a room, smashes mirrors, stares at himself in the remaining shards, eventually collapses like a rag doll with his head all cocked over, so I dunno if he was supposed to have somehow snapped his neck, maybe with all the flailing? XD Taiji argues with his girlfriend and gets literally shot down by her (and flops around for a long time too). Yoshiki, the uberdramawhore, takes a letter opener that wouldn't even slice paper to his wrist (totally the wrong way to actually do anything, too), and eventually is staggering around holding it to his stomach with blood all down his front (and last, flops around in a small sea of red water, because, well, what's an X PV without a wet Yoshiki?). Pata spends the whole time drinking Jack Daniels, and falls out on the bar with his head on his arm; some guy comes by later and shakes him, nothing. So the only one who escapes an awful death is Toshi, who's the serious, dramatic 'narrator' standing in front of a wall that's getting splashed with red paint (even as he's standing in front of it, and it always makes me wish they'd done an outtake or something with him getting nailed with the stuff). Good times. XD Pretty awful now, pretty great in early 1990.
Miyavi, I'd guess is in there because in the PSC tour dvd, Yasuno was acting like a teenage girl with a terrible crush every time they were in the same room. There's no doubt that there should've been some sort of build-up to it in the fic, maybe the guys giving him shit about it while they were drinking, that would've been easy. I'm just mentioning it here as a "this is probably why it was there" not an "oh but this makes it work in the fic" because you're right, it is random as it's written.
I don't think that I should/could dartboard this one... The things that you talk about, I agree with, looking at each individually and trying to be objective. But when I'm actually reading it, I get so distracted by squeeing over the... well, squeeful awesomeness (to me, because I'm a crazy X and Kra fan) that is Kra doing the Weekend PV (only, you know, minus that whole dying thing...), that I don't even notice the weaknesses in it as a story.
Actually, I guess this now is my comment on the fic. XD; Yeah. Hmmmm, loved the use of the prompt. LOVED. I totally didn't expect to get any more than the hide and Yoshiki parts, so Mai taking off into the bar was like, "Huh? Okay, cool *goes back to Yasuno*" and then Yasuno gets... shot down *snicker* and, hey, random Miyavi! Well, he had to go somewhere, and I like that particular where, but it would have been an excellent idea to drop his name into things earlier and give us some basis for Yasuno going there besides if we happened to notice his behavior in PSC tour. XD It goes back to Mai and all of a sudden I catch on, and even though the poor boy's conking out on the damn bar and if I didn't know it was cause the Weekend PV's spirit came in and is possessing each one of them in sequence, it'd be a bit depressing (Maicho's a random alcoholic? He's upset over something but we dunno what it is, or he just likes to go into bars and drink til he passes out all the time?), it's so CUTE and makes me squee my fool head off, and well - ZOMG I want to be the bartender. O_O XDDD
When Keiyuu and Yuura, out of nowhere, started getting on each other, and then all of a sudden were making out, like, in broken glass, that was really random. I was thrown by that. (Especially since there was all this glass where they were sitting, and I'd think they'd get out of it before doing anything else, let alone making out and then stumbling off into the bedroom... still probably with quite a bit of glass in their clothes......) If they were together already, or at least had some kind of tension/flirting going on, then it'd work.