I feel that this fic is somewhat unbalanced. It has lots of intro, some middle, and then a confusing end that seems to suggest the author got rushed and wanted to finish this up ASAP. The characterisation was enjoyable, and their interactions were fun.
The thing about Yasuno and his girlfriend and a sudden, Miyavi, isn't really integrated well into the fic. I see no purpose for it being there, and Miyavi isn't explained well, either. If all that was to have been put in, it would have been nicer if there was more build-up to it. The thing is -- I thought the fic was about Kra going major and deciding they're 'real rockstars' now and celebrating.
We meet the scene, which gets going like a party, and we get into it with detailed description -- then Keiyuu and Yuura end up drunk and screwing (which is understandable and fine.) But then Yasuno gets dumped by his girlfriend, goes see Miyavi, Mai gets a depressing drunk alone-in-a-bar cameo, and then Yuura and Keiyuu wake up, all in less than the space it took for them to get to the hotel. It's somewhere in-between a fic with a plot and a vignette, but not quite either, and doesn't work.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2007-01-14 01:38 pm (UTC)The thing about Yasuno and his girlfriend and a sudden, Miyavi, isn't really integrated well into the fic. I see no purpose for it being there, and Miyavi isn't explained well, either. If all that was to have been put in, it would have been nicer if there was more build-up to it. The thing is -- I thought the fic was about Kra going major and deciding they're 'real rockstars' now and celebrating.
We meet the scene, which gets going like a party, and we get into it with detailed description -- then Keiyuu and Yuura end up drunk and screwing (which is understandable and fine.) But then Yasuno gets dumped by his girlfriend, goes see Miyavi, Mai gets a depressing drunk alone-in-a-bar cameo, and then Yuura and Keiyuu wake up, all in less than the space it took for them to get to the hotel. It's somewhere in-between a fic with a plot and a vignette, but not quite either, and doesn't work.